About Bridesmaids

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Having bridesmaids at your wedding can be a wonderful idea, especially if your chosen ladies are the helpful, supportive kind that you can lean on and that reduce your stress and share your joy. However, you might not know whom to choose, whether you should have bridesmaids at all (and how many), or be unsure about how much responsibility you can delegate to them. So we thought we’d offer a few tips on the the subject…

Whom do I choose?

For some brides the choice will be obvious as they’ve have had a deal with their besties since childhood about this or they’re simply going with their sisters and keeping it in the family. For others it can be a more difficult consideration. Either way, try to also think of getting a good combination of personalities and strengths. Maybe choose someone who’s good at organizing, someone who’ll make it fun, someone who knows how to handle your crazy relatives and someone who’ll give great fashion advice when you’re shopping for a dress. While its difficult to coordinate things between more than say 5 bridesmaids at once, it’s also difficult for just one maid of honour to bear all the responsibility on her own. So go with a number somewhere in between that works for you.

Must I have bridesmaids and what can I expect from them?

Of course having bridesmaids is not essential and in today’s wedding culture you can pretty much do what you want. Some brides might not like the idea of a whole entourage of people (which usually includes flower girls, ring bearers, page boys, groomsmen, best men etc.) and prefer to keep things simple.

However, there are definitely some advantages to the tradition of having bridesmaids. Usually the maid- or matron of honour and bridesmaids help you with all kinds of wedding admin, organise your bridal shower and are devoted to making your wedding day run smoothly and supporting you in any way you need: from holding your bouquet, to making sure your veil stays on or calming your wedding jitters. They might be involved in doing speeches, walking down the aisle ahead of you or managing the flower girls. They usually wear similar outfits that work with your wedding theme and are part of the VIP entourage surrounding the bridal couple and posing for photos. The general idea is that you get to spend the day with the most important ladies in your life by your side and that they make things a little easier for you.

How involved should I be and how much can I delegate?

Nobody want’s to come across as the controlling Bridezilla 🙂 , but leaving your bridesmaids to guess what you want can be just as stressful as they won’t know where to start.

You’ll probably be really grateful that your bridesmaids can take a few jobs off your hands. Try to give them set, defined tasks and possibly spread the load between them. You can ask for their input when struggling to chose the best wedding cake, when you’re trying on the 50th pair of shoes or ask them to phone the caterers or check the table seating plan.

When it comes to the bridal shower: give them some helpful guidelines and then leave the rest to them so that they have a chance to spoil you with some fun surprises. For example: let your bridesmaids have your guest list with contact details, so they don’t have to use stealthy detective skills just to uncover that. If you absolutely hate Karaoke or know that you can’t have your granny and wild work friends at the same bridal shower, then mention this. Most importantly, communicate your wishes clearly, but leave room for their input and initiative.

How to have amazing, happy bridesmaids

Your wedding day is the one day in your life that you’re allowed to be a little selfish and have all the attention on you. But of course you also want your guests, friends and family to have a wonderful time and enjoy themselves. While it shouldn’t be your aim to keep everyone else happy, there are many small ways to show your love and appreciation to your special bridesmaids:

• When it comes to choosing the bridesmaids dresses and colours, you will probably have a set idea of how you want the overall wedding theme to look, but try to also keep your bridesmaids’ body shape and personalities in mind. They will be grateful! Also remember that slight variations on the dresses for each bridesmaid can make the whole look more interesting – they don’t all have to look the same.

• Come up with a thoughtful thank you present or treat to show you value their friendship.

• Schedule some girl time and pampering before the wedding.

• Above all, enjoy your bridesmaids’ company and share your happiness with them! Remember that they love you, really want to support you and are thrilled for you.